Without you
by Seishin No Hime
Summary: A one-shot about Miriallia finally being able to get over Tolle. Mostly TolleXMiriallia but some DearkaXMiriallia at the end.


Without you.

**A/N: Okay so this came to me at about 03.00 am so if the grammer or spelling is particularly bad then please do let me know.**

**Personally I'm not a big fan of TollexMiriallia but i felt like this had to be written, plus it does have hints of my favorite pairing at the end - DearkaxMiriallia**

**Haro: Miyazaki does not own Gundam SEED or Gundam SEED Destiny. Nor does she own the song 'What hurts the most' She does however own a bag of salted peanuts and a laptop to read everybodies awesome fics. **

**Edit: Okay so i had this posted as a song fic for the song 'what hurts the most' by Rascal Flatts but Fanfic deleted it so I'm re-uploading it without the song lyrics. To get the full effect of the story it would be best to listen to the above song while reading it.**

**Enjoy Xxx**

Miriallia sat in the corner of the window seat, staring longingly down at the group of small children playing below.

'Why did you have to leave?' She though to herself

' When your not here, i feel so empty inside' Thats what this feeling was, emptiness, loneliness...

She wondered how the children could be having so much fun when the rain that was currently pouring down from the heavens was making the day seem so miserable in her eyes.

It was fitting really, the weather was an exact reflection of her current mood. Tolle had been dead for exactly a year today and although she thought that she had moved on, it was now obvious to her and anybody else who was close to her that she had not.

Why did it have to be Tolle that died? He was a good person, he never did anything that should have comdemned him to the horrible fate that he had suffered at the hands of the Aegis and subsequently, Athrun Zala.

It was only now in the prexence of her own self oity and the falling rain that she let her tears fall. She detested crying, after all, were does it get you?

Although Miri didn't like to cry, it felt good to finally let out some of the pain and grief that she'd been carrying around for the last year. The salty substance left tracks left tracks in its wake as it trickled down her face, one droplet at a time.

She would never cry in front of her friends or her loved ones, it would only cause them pain to see her in pain and then she would feel guilty for weighing them down with her lousy misery.

She defiately would not cry in front of Dearka.

Dearka had been there for her, since the end of the last war and although she had continually refused to get close to him, he refused to leave her alone.

She had already shown so much weakness in front of him, and she knew that he thought he was only a replacement while she mourned Tolle

She wanted to be able to face him and tell him honestly that he was wrong.

The ony problem being that she wasn't sure that he was wrong. She liked Dearka but She had loved Tolle.

She cried often, just never when anybody could see her or hear her.

He was gone and no amount of bitter tears was going to bring him back. Tolle wouldn't have wanted her to cry.

Every single day of her life, she would put on a happy and cheerful facade to reassure her loved ones that she was okay and that she was moving on.

When really, she was falling apart inside more and more every day

Nobody really seemed to notice though, why would they? Its not like anybody saw her anymore, like she'd just disappeared, holled herself up inside her house and refused to come out

In those last few moments aboard the Archangel, after Tolle's sky grapser had launched, Miriallia hadn't been thinking, 'what if he doesn't come back?'

Who would really, willingly envision that outcome? Who would want to think that the person that was closest to them may be in fact be moments away from death?

Then when she'd lost contact with both the Strike and the Skygrasper 2, the blatant truth hadn't really sunk in.

She'd tried deperately to contact both pilots but to no avail. Tolle wasn't coming back and she had just realised this.

Now she'd never know what it would be like to marry Tolle like they'd promised each other.

She'd never know what it would be like to grow old with him, he would never grow old at all

And for some reason, she flet a certain amount of responsibility for that fact.

Everywhere she went, there were reminders of Tolle. She wondered how she struggled thorugh everyday, but by some miracle, she managed it

She would spend time with her friends, Kira, Cagalli, Sai and Kuzzey and now she even considered Athrun her friend. She always had Dearka by her side though, and it made dealing the pain just that little bit more bearable.

She would go thorugh all of her normal daily routines, but only because she felt that she had to, not because she wanted to.

If she had it her way, she would just curl up into a ball and never face anybody again.

There was only one thing that was stopping her from doing exactly that... Dearka.

He was always there, through the good days... and the bad ones

*****************%%$$££^^&&* Without You *&&^^££$$%%*****************

"Miri, Kira called. He says that he wants everybody to mee... Hey! have you been crying?"

Dearka stopped by the door and when he saw the tear tracks down his girl friends face he immediatly became concerned

"Just remembering Tolle, but now i think that i will finally be able to let go and move on with my life." Miri said, sniffing but letting a smile overtake her features as she gazed at her Tanned, Blond haired boyfriend who was currently still standing in the doorway.

Upon hearing this Dearka moved into the room and towards her with slow purposefull steps, then he scooped her up inot his arms and kissed her with all of the passion that he could muster up.

"I'm so glad Miri, glad that now you finally feel you can be happy." Dearka whispered in her ear.

"Thank you for sticking by me Dearka, I couldn't have done it withough you." Miri whispered back, still sniffing from her recent tear fest.

"Anytime baby, anytime." Dearka then leaned in for a another kiss, this one lasting much longer that the last. "So are we gonna meet Kira or not? Don't wanna keep 'em waiting." Miri said while lettintg a small giggle escape her lips.

**The end**

**A/N: so what did you think? please R&R and tell me things you liked about it, things you didn't like so much or just anythng trivial, i love to hear from you**

**No flames please although constructive criticism is welcome :D **

**Until next time, my friends, Ja Ne :D**


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